Category: Love

A Life with Love Is Impossible

The sooner you realize that it is not in you and that you can not love on your own the easier your life will be. We are basically selfish and life is all about our own self. Everything revolves around “what is in it for me”. This begins the moment we are born and we really are not very happy about being in the real world until we are fed and cuddled and loved. Then, when circumstances change, we change again and we are not happy until we are fed, changed, cuddled and loved again and the cycle goes on and on. The older we get we try to disguise it but it is still in our heart that life is all about me.

that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, Ephesian 4:22

The only way we can love with an unselfish love is if we receive a new self which the Lord gives to us when we come to Him.

and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Ephesians 4:24

We become a new person in Christ and we are no longer the old self but a new person or a in other words, a new self.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. II Corinthians 5:17

When we come to Jesus Christ and give Him our life then He gives Himself to us and takes our old self and gives us a new self. We then begin to live a life in Christ and through Christ. This new life is being transformed into the image of Christ, for He is God and the exact representation of who God is.

And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, Hebrews 1:3

When we come to Christ then we die to our old self with its selfish desires and we live for Christ through his power that works in us. We can not do His will but He can and wants to through us.

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20

We can do nothing apart from Jesus Christ but in Him we can do all things.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

There is nothing that is impossible once we give our life to Jesus Christ. No matter what kind of mess you are in or how messed up your life or marriage is, the Lord can restore you and your relationships. First, you must be restored to Him and then He restores you and your life and relationships. The way that you are restored to God is to come to Him through Jesus Christ and give Him everything…your life, your relationships, your sins, your dreams, your future and anything else that comes to your mind. Basically, you are giving Him control of everything and you are asking Him to take your life and do whatever He wants with you.

For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37

Our impossibilities are possible with God. If you believe that then give Him the things that you are struggling with and the matters that have defeated you. We can not be and do all that we need to be and do but God can and He will if we come to Him.

But He said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.” Luke 18:27

Even if you feel that your faith is little, still come to Him.

And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20

There once was a man who Jesus wanted to help. His prayer is a famous prayer that the Lord heard. If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart then you might want to pray it also.

Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24

Loving someone else with a Christlike, unselfish love is impossible for all of us but it is not impossible for Christ because that is the the love that He has for all of us. He will give you His love for others. It is possible to have a great marriage and a great life but it is only possible through Jesus Christ.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24

You will soar in life when Jesus Christ lives and loves through you in the power of His Spirit. The outcome will be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. These qualities will characterize your marriage and your other relationships.

For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. Galatians 5:14,15

If you choose not to give yourself to the Lord and allow Him to live through you then the other outcome will be destruction. You will be destroyed and you will bring destruction to your marriage.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself,
And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

Love is a choice and you must choose. If you choose the Lord and His ways then you will choose wisely and you will be blessed. To scoff means to ignore or turn your back to the truth and that is also a choice. You alone will bear it and the pain will be great.

A Life with Love Does Not Disappoint

Expectations destroy relationships because no one can meet up to another’s expectations. Expectations destroy relationships because when there are expectations then that becomes the focus and all the other wonderful things that can come in a loving relationship are not seen because the eyes are set on a certain set of expectations. Expectations bring disappointment. However, there is One who says that He will never disappoint. There is no one else who can make that promise.

For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Romans 10:11

The Lord is all loving and all powerful and He keeps His Word. When we believe in Jesus Christ then He promises us that we will not be disappointed. Our spouses, our parents and every other human will eventually disappoint us. When we look to the Lord rather than to a person to meet our needs then we will not be let down. The Lord has poured out His love on us and that is what gives us hope and hope in Him does not disappoint.

and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

When our hearts are filled with love then we are like a sponge that is full but if our hearts are empty of love then we are vulnerable to mistake what we think is love and end up being hurt and more empty. Only Jesus Christ can fill our hearts so that we won’t mistake the bitter for the sweet.

But to a famished man any bitter thing is sweet. Proverbs 27:7

Love is the greatest gift and the one who finds it and keeps it enjoys life and they are able to give love and bring joy to others. Love must first be found in the Lord. God’s love never disappoints and His love never changes. God’s love is perfect and when we live in His love then we no longer live in fear of rejection or fear of being disappointed.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, I John 4:18a

If we cry out to the Lord then He will deliver us from what troubles us. We can trust in Him and in His love. We will not be disappointed.

To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed. Psalm 22:5

There is no one person who can meet all of our needs. Those who end up being hurt the most are those who put their hopes in another human being to meet their needs. When hopes and expectations are not met then unhappiness and ungratefulness follows along with the disappointment. When we are disappointed with someone then the cup is half empty rather than half full. We will see what that person can not give us. This is especially true in marriage. Your spouse will never provide all of the money, intimacy, time, etc. that you desire. We will not see our spouse as a blessing and a gift but we will see what we don’t have. Marriage can be the sweetest relationship on earth but if one of them is unhappy then it can be the most miserable existence on earth. A husband especially will struggle if he has an unhappy wife. The most beautiful face to a husband is a smiling wife.

Thus says the Lord,
“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
And makes flesh his strength,
And whose heart turns away from the Lord.
“For he will be like a bush in the desert
And will not see when prosperity comes,
But will live in stony wastes in the wilderness,
A land of salt without inhabitant. Jeremiah 17:5,6

People are humans and so there are sometimes false hopes in them that lead to unrealistic expectations, which will always leave us empty and disappointed. When we look to a person to fill the needs and longings that only God can fill then we will end up being very lonely and living in an emotional land of emptiness. We will not see the prosperity that only the Lord can give to us.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
And whose trust is the Lord.
“For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit. Jeremiah 17:7,8

The one whose trust is in the Lord will see their spouse as a gift and will know that their spouse can never meet all of their expectations and all of their needs. Their cup of joy will overflow as they thank the Lord for their spouse and the gift of marriage. As they give thanks to the Lord for who He has given to them then they will see even more wonderful things in their spouse. Life will be sweet for them and for the one whom they are married to. They will be blessed and their spouse and children will be blessed. Blessed is the person who trusts in the Lord.

A Life with Love Does Not Hate

Love is an expression of everything that is good and hate is an expression of everything that is bad. If we love someone then we will do them good and build them up but if we hate someone then we will do what is bad towards them and will want to bring them grief. Love wants to be with someone and hate wants to do away with someone.

“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Matthew 5:21,22

Hate goes before abusive speech and actions and anger is the beginning of hate. Hate desires destruction to the one whom it is aimed towards but in actuality it destroys the one who has it within their heart. Cain hated Abel because God accepted Abel’s offering but not Cain’s offering.

Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. Genesis 4:8

The Lord did not tell anyone but Cain that He did not accept Cain’s sacrifice. The Lord does not shame but we bring about our own shame when we do not do life right. When we do wrong we can seek forgiveness from God or we can continue in our shame and receive more shame. Sin never stands alone. Sin brings more sin.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” Genesis 4:9

Abel knew where his brother was. A dead man does not move. If someone will kill they will lie. If someone will steal they will lie. If someone will commit adultery they will lie. Do not be in a relationship with a liar. If you hear them lie then flee from that relationship. The person who lies can not be trusted and the one who lies will lie to you.

He said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to Me from the ground. Genesis 4:10

The Lord asked Cain the same question that He asked Adam, “What have you done?”. Cain could not silence the dead nor could he do away with Abel. Whenever a person hates someone then they give the devil power over their lives. Whenever someone kills someone then they can not get away from the victim. They become a tormented person and the person whom they killed now lives within their thoughts. Hatred destroys the person who has it.

By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks. Hebrews 11:4

Cain was angry with God for not accepting his sacrifice. All anger is ultimately directed at God but it is taken out on someone else. Anger is not getting your way and what you want. Abel received what he wanted but Cain did not and so Cain killed Abel.

For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another; not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous. I John 3:11,12

Love is of God and the message that has been from the beginning is that we should love one another. The violence that comes from anger is from the devil and when it is carried out then the perpetrator has done the works of the devil. Violence is different from other sins in that some of the other sins are natural desires that are fulfilled in the wrong way. It is wrong to commit adultery but physical intimacy is a natural desire that becomes adultery when it is accomplished between two people not married. The Lord hates violence.

The Lord tests the righteous and the wicked, And the one who loves violence His soul hates. Psalm 11:5

When the Lord comes into our lives then He sets us free from our own selfish desires which lead to the anger, hatred, jealousy, envy and all the other feelings and attitudes that can control us that leads to death within our souls. He takes out of our lives the things that destroy us and replaces them with what is good. He also will do this with relationships when they are given to the Lord.

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. I John 3:14-16

Jesus Christ took our death, and all that dwells in death and causes death, to the cross that we might be set free. The anger, hatred, jealousy, strife and more are what characterizes the person who is still in death and separated from God. Love is what marks the person who has passed out of death into life. Jesus Christ died and rose again that He might bring us to God. He laid down His life for us.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; I Peter 3:18

Abel loved God and Cain could not destroy Abel’s love for God nor could he silence Abel. Evil destroys the person who does it but God came to destroy the works of the devil.

The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil. I John 3:8

The one who knows God will love others. The one who does not know God, their heart will have hatred. Those who love God will want to do what is right. Those who do not know God can not do what is right, for their hearts are wicked.

By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother. I John 3:10

The Lord loves you whether you belong to Him or not. He wants you to come to Him. God loved Cain. Cain did not choose to love God. Love is a choice. God’s wisdom is a mystery. We do not fully understand it but when we do come to Jesus Christ our lives are changed now and forever.

Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. I Corinthians 15:51,52

The Lord says that if only those who crucified the Lord Jesus Christ had understood that He loved them then they would not have crucified Him. Jesus Christ loved even His enemies and those who hated Him.

but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory; the wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the Lord of glory; but just as it is written,

“Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard,
And which have not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for those who love Him.” I Corinthians 2:7-9

His plan for man from the beginning has always been love. God has always loved man but God has also given man a choice. Man can respond to that love through Jesus Christ or they can reject that love. When they reject that love then their hearts continue to stay darkened and what is wrong starts to seem right and what is right seems wrong to them. Those who crucified Jesus Christ hated Him and believed that they could silence Him. God raised Him from the dead and He still desires that all people come to Him and receive eternal life.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life. John 5:24

There is no sin too great. We all are guilty of crucifying the Lord. It was for all of us and for all of our sin that He went to the cross. It is not too late to come to Him.

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. II Peter 3:9

A Life with Love Does All Things Well

After Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden then they began to do what the Lord had commanded them to do and that was to be fruitful and multiply.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, Genesis 1:27,28a

First Cain was born Adam and Eve and then Abel was born. Both boys grew up into young men. Knowing that there was a God to be worshiped both of the young men sought to make an offering to the Lord. Cain was a tiller of the ground and Abel was a keeper of flocks.

Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain, and she said, “I have gotten a manchild with the help of the Lord.” Again, she gave birth to his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of flocks, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. Genesis 4:1-2

The Lord God does all things well and He wants to show us who He is and teach us His ways. When Jesus lived among men He did all things well.

They were utterly astonished, saying, “He has done all things well; He makes even the deaf to hear and the mute to speak.” Mark 7:37

After Adam and Eve sinned then they had to learn how to please God. The Lord wants us to seek Him first and to give Him our best. Cain offered a sacrifice to God in the course of time. It was when he was ready to seek the Lord. How easy it is for all of us to seek the Lord on our own terms and say such things as, “Some day I will give my life to the Lord” rather than to come to Him today when we hear Him speaking to our heart.

So it came about in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the Lord of the fruit of the ground. Genesis 4:3

Abel, on the other hand, came to the Lord with his best. He offered the first and best of His work as an offering to the Lord. The Lord received His offering.

Abel, on his part also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and for his offering; Genesis 4:4

The Lord did not receive Cain’s offering. It was not because He loved Abel more than Cain. The Lord loved both of them. The Bible does not say that God was mad at Cain but only that the Lord did not have regard for Cain’s offering.

but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. Genesis 4:4a

The Lord loved Cain but Cain’s offering was not what God wanted. It is easy to become angry when our work or anything that we do is rejected. Giving into anger can give the devil an opportunity. Anger is an emotion that can easily lead to sin. Anger makes us vulnerable to the devil.

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 4:26,27

Sometimes we learn more through rejection than we do through success. Our response to life often is more important than what happens to us in life. Our response determines the direction our life will go in. When we feel rejected by someone we were trying to please we can look to the Lord or we can become angry and try to justify ourselves.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? Genesis 4:6

When we become angry with someone then we close off our spirit to that person. Anger is an outward expression of hurt but it can easily lead to sin and bitterness. Sin and bitterness go together. Bitterness takes root in our lives through unresolved hurts and leads to immorality.

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. Hebrews 12:15,16

Immorality is exchanging the eternal for the temporal. The Lord wants to build eternal values into our lives and teach us what will last for eternity. Esau exchanged the blessing of God and what was eternal for what was of momentary value. All of sin is exchanging the eternal for the temporal satisfaction of the flesh.

If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Genesis 4: 7

Cain had not sinned when he did his offering. All we know was that the Lord did not have regard for his offering. Cain could still “do all things well” and the Lord would have been pleased with Cain. The Lord was instructing Cain in how to love God. The Lord loved Cain and wanted Cain to listen to Him so that Cain would know Him and please Him.

But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. James 1:19b,20

God is love and He is righteous and does all things well. The Lord says that if we will be quick to hear and be a doer of what He says then we also will be like Him and do all things well. His Word is the Law of liberty and they will set us free from the anger and bitterness that can so easily get a hold in our lives.

Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. James 1:21-25

When we feel rejected and respond rightly rather than in anger then it produces in us a humility. Humility is necessary to receive God’s instruction. It is our pride that allows anger to take hold of our emotions but if we will in humility receive His Words planted in our hearts then they will take root and bear the good fruit of becoming a doer of God’s Word. The Lord wants to bless us and gives us a promise that if we will do this then He will bless us in what we do. God will bless you in your relationship with Him. God will bless you in your job and in your marriage. He will bless you in all that you do.

How can a young man keep his way pure?
By keeping it according to Your word.
With all my heart I have sought You;
Do not let me wander from Your commandments.
Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You.
Blessed are You, O Lord;
Teach me Your statutes. Psalm 119:9-12

A Married Life Overflowing with Love

Everyone who is married longs for there to be true love in the marriage. Love is the sweet fragrance of a great marriage and the if you have love in your marriage then it truly cuts your sorrows in half and doubles your joys. Without love then life and marriage is much harder and eventually can become bitter or lifeless. Love softens the blows that life sometimes brings that are out of our control. Love is the oil in relationships and without it relationships are a grind that can wear us down. Most marriages begin with good intentions but many do not know how to live out the desires and dreams that were there at the beginning.

I John 4:7,8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God is love and there is no love a part from God. We do not know love a part from the Lord and we can not love a part from the Lord Jesus Christ. There may be duty, obligation or even a selfish love a part from the Lord but there will never be an agape love which is an unselfish, unconditional love apart from Jesus Christ. God came to us through Jesus Christ to show us what true love is and how we can experience it and know it. You must have Christ in your life to love and to be loved. We are untrusting creatures and don’t even know how to receive or give love. When we come into an encounter with Jesus Christ and receive Him then we are loved just the way we are and we can learn to love others just the way they are.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

God loves us. Christ died for us when we did not love Him and had turned our back on Him. Jesus Christ loves us just the way we are with an unconditional, agape love. We are complete in Him and do not need the approval of others. He will always have our back and will never turn His back on us. He will never leave us or forsake us, even when it feels as though all others have and we are alone.

Hebrews 13:4,5 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

We do not need to have the “boastful pride of man” nor do we need to fulfill the lusts of the flesh or the lusts of the eyes when we have Christ. He is our glory and He will never leave us. We do not have to ever be lonely again. Being lonely is not His will and He wants His people to have a home. He wants you to have a home.

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Rebellion is simply wanting to go your own way. If you have gone your own way and you are lonely in your marriage then turn to the Lord with all of your heart. He will fill your loneliness and fill you with love for your marriage partner. He will teach you how to love His way.

Galatians 6:9,10 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

The word “good” means the “highest form of love”. The Lord will show you how to “do good” to your spouse. In due time you will reap if you do not grow weary. He will show you the opportunities to do good. The Lord will teach you.

A Life with Love Forgives

One of the greatest expressions of love is to forgive. Forgiveness, how sweet it is for the recipient when it is given and is the greatest gift that anyone can give to another. There is no greater expression of love in a relationship than forgiveness. We all need forgiveness. All of us have done wrong and brought grief to others. There is no limit to our need for forgiveness.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21,22

Jesus came to bring us forgiveness. We can not give to others what we have not received. When we receive Jesus Christ and His gift of salvation then we receive forgiveness of all of our sins.

To give to His people the knowledge of salvation
By the forgiveness of their sins, Luke 1:77

Jesus Christ went to the cross to forgive us of all of our sins. When we receive Jesus Christ we are forgiven of past, present and future sins. Forgiveness is a gift that God gives to us through Jesus Christ.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace Ephesians 1:7

For there to be love in a relationship then there must be forgiveness. To love someone is to forgive and to forgive is to love. Where there is forgiveness then there is love.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:22

Forgiveness is not easy but it is necessary. Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision of the will. Forgiveness is not our will but God’s will. Even Jesus had to pray to do the Father’s will and asked the Father for His will to be done.

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39

When a person is forgiven their life is changed. When they realize the magnitude of their wrongdoings and they have been forgiven and the guilt has been taken away then their response is a response of love and gratitude. He who is forgiven little loves little but he who is forgiven much loves much.

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47

There is not anything else that goes deeper into our souls than forgiveness. We all need forgiveness. When you give to someone the gift of forgiveness then you are loving them as Jesus Christ has loved you. Forgiveness is expressed in the promise “never to bring it up again”.

“For I will be merciful to their iniquities,
And I will remember their sins no more.” Hebrews 8:12

If God so loved us that He became the sacrifice for our sins so that we could be forgiven then we ought to love one another.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:10,11

Forgiveness is showing mercy to someone in need. The one who shows mercy does himself good. It is cruel not to forgive and show mercy to the one who needs it. God has shown all of us His mercy through Jesus Christ. The person who has been given mercy but withholds mercy does himself harm.

The merciful man does himself good,
But the cruel man does himself harm. Proverbs 11:17

Forgiveness is not only a gift that you give to someone else but it is a gift that you give to yourself. A person reaps what they sow. When you forgive others then your sins will be forgiven you.

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14,15

The greatest marriages and families are made up of those who have learned to forgive. Forgiveness is the medicine that brings healing to our souls. Forgiveness in our relationships is a light that teaches others how to love. Forgiveness is the salt that melts the ice of hatred. Love is the most influential power and its greatest expression is forgiveness.

A Life with Love is Pure

Love is pure otherwise it is not really love. Since only God can purify our hearts we can only love with a pure heart if our heart is right with God. Our hearts are basically selfish and we want our own way. Selfishness and love can not dwell in a person at the same time.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:14-16

If you are still single then one of the kinds of people that you want to avoid are selfish people. They care about no one but themselves and your life will be difficult and miserable if you marry a selfish person.

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self…Avoid such men as these. II Timothy 3:1,2a and 5b

If a person gives their life to Jesus Christ then the Lord comes and lives within them and loves through them. The love of Christ is pure and unselfish.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, Philippians 2:3-5

When someone becomes a Christian they become a new creation in Christ and the Lord gives them a new self. They are a new person and not who they were before.

But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Ephesians 4:20-24

When we become a Christian then we lay aside the old self with it’s selfish practices and put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him. God begins the process of restoring His image in us as He designed from the beginning. God’s image is one of a pure love.

Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— Colossians 3:9,10

God’s love is a love that man can not know or experience apart from God. His love is a love that changes the person with whom it resides and a love that changes the people who see it and receives it through the person whom it resides in. God’s kind of love is a love that has no selfish ambition or personal agenda but regards the other person as more important and seeks the welfare of the one being loved.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

There is nothing sweeter in all of human relationships than to love and be loved with God’s love through another person. God’s love is patient and kind. It does not seek its own and it is not jealous when the other person succeeds or receives honor. God’s love is not easily provoked and is patient. God’s love bears all things, believes the best in the one loved and endures hardships and hopes for the best for the other person when all hope seems gone. This is the kind of love that God has for you. It is a love that never dies and He longs for you to know this love. This love can only be found in Jesus Christ for He alone is pure and His love is perfect. God can and does give this kind of love to His people for them to love others.

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18

You will be blessed as you learn to long for the Lord. He longs to love you and show you His grace. He is waiting for all to come to Him. He came to us and waits for us to respond to Him. When you become weary then remember that there is One who will allow you to rest in His love and know His deep and abiding love that will never leave you.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

The Lord will hold you in His arms and keep you safe and secure. His love is eternal and He never changes.

The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms; Deuteronomy 33:27a

A Life with Love Must Have Truth

Love must have the truth. If there are lies then there is not love nor will there be love. Love and lies can not abide in the same person. Where there is love there must be truth.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. John 14:6

God is love and God is truth. The only way that someone can have love in their life and know the truth is to have God in their life. No one can have God in their life apart from Jesus Christ for He is God’s only begotten Son and equal to God the Father. For this reason, no one can come to God, the Father, except through Jesus Christ, His Son.

Your word is truth. John 17:17b

You must know God’s Word to know the truth. When you know the truth then you will not be deceived and will be able to identify the lies and schemes of the devil. You also will not add to God’s Word for you will know what it says. Eve added to what the Lord had commanded them. He only said “not to eat of the tree of good and evil”. He did not say anything about touching the tree. Eve added those words to God’s words. The Lord gives us the grace to keep His Words but not the words that we add to His Words. He does not want us to add to what He has said.

The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” Genesis 3:2,3

We are to know the truth of God’s Word so that we can resist the devil, identify his lies and also so that we will not distort the Word of God to our own destruction.

in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.

II Peter 3:16b

If you want the life that the Lord intended for you and the marriage that He planned then you must know God’s Word. His Word is the blueprint and the instructions on how to experience God’s love and plan for your life. His Word will allow you to grow in the grace and knowledge of Him. Incline your ear to God’s Word rather than what the rest of the world is saying. Keep them in the midst of your heart and do not let them depart from your sight. God’s Words are life to those who find them and health not only to their bodies but to their relationships also.

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body. Proverbs 4:20-22

How to Avoid The Life of a Failure

If you want to be miserable in life then just be a failure. Failure brings with it depression, discouragement, disappointment, defeat and despair. However, the choice is ours, if we want to be a failure or a success in life. No one else is responsible for whether we are a success or a failure. The choice is ours. You may think that circumstances would have something to do with it but not so, it is you who determines your success or failure in life. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Proverbs 29:23 A man’s pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.

It is pride that goes before a fall. Pride is not needing God. Satan had all the best of circumstances. He was beautiful and experienced great wealth. He had many gifts and the highest position of all of the angels. Yet, he was not satisfied. He wanted to be equal to God. He wanted more than what the Lord had given to him. He was not satisfied and became prideful. It was his pride that led to his failure and he lost everything.

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom.

Pride is the opposite of humility. When pride comes then comes dishonor. Dishonor goes hand and hand with failure. Those who are successful experience honor. Pride is basically saying, “I can do it on my own and that it is all about me”.

I John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

Humility acknowledges that we can do nothing apart from the Lord. Pride is not from the Lord but is from the devil. We are most like the devil when we are prideful.

John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

Pride says that it does not need the Lord. It is manifested by not turning to Him with all of our heart. It is also made known by us neglecting reading and meditating on His Word. When we don’t spend time in His Word then we are relying on ourselves and not on Him. We forget what He has to say and when we forget then we do not act on His Word.

Hosea 7:10 Though the pride of Israel testifies against him, Yet they have not returned to the Lord their God, Nor have they sought Him, for all this.

It is our pride that brings us low and leads to failure. It is the Lord who wants us to be successful and has shown us the way to succeed. There is no success apart from Him. However, you may say that you know people who are successful and who do not seek the Lord. If you will look closely at their successes you will see that they paid a heavy price and it was too great of a price for their temporary success. They lost something else even more precious than their success, whether it is a marriage, family, integrity or even their fellowship with the Lord. For it is the Lord alone who gives success with no sorrow with it.

Proverbs 10:22 It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich,
And He adds no sorrow to it.

Only the Lord can bless us richly in every area and He adds no sorrow to it. However, we must look to Him and follow His instructions on life. He leads us in the good way.

Jeremiah 6:16a Thus says the Lord, “Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths, Where the good way is, and walk in it; And you will find rest for your souls.

The Lord wants us to look to Him and He will be our Shepherd and lead us in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. He will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. There are no regrets in following the Lord and obeying His voice. He will never disappoint you. Have you failed? Then it is to show you how desperately we all need the Lord and how desperately we need to know His Word so that we can do exactly as He says. Turn to Him with all your heart. He does promise success to the one who will trust Him and obey Him completely.

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

He says it again what you need to do to be successful. You have nothing to lose, but your pride, and you have everything to gain.

Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.

A Life with Love Guards the Heart

Since love flows out of our hearts and is expressed through our actions towards another then the one who loves understands the great importance of guarding the heart. Same thing as “garbage in garbage out” except it is “love in love out”. What comes in is what will go out.

Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Since God is the source of love and His love is pure then our greatest need in life is to know Him and to experience His love moment by moment. If we will do this then out of our heart and life will flow the love of God.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

However, our hearts are deceitful and we will even deceive ourselves. When one is deceived they do not realize that they are deceived. That is the meaning of deception. Satan is a liar and seeks to deceive us through our hearts by making temptations seem so appealing just as he did with Eve.

The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

However, it is not until we have given into the temptation and fallen into the devil’s snares of death that we realize we have been trapped. Once we are trapped in the snares of death then we go into a downward spiral.

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. James 1:14-16

A Christian has been made spiritually alive but his soul can still experience death through sinning. The death that he experiences is not any different from the death that the nonChristian experiences. The nonChristian lives in a perpetual state of death but the Christian can still experience death to the soul and that is through the guilt, regret, depression, etc.

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. Colossians 3:25

It is not until we come to the Lord will we be cleansed of our sins. The nonChristian needs a total cleansing. When we come to Him for salvation then He cleanses our conscience through His Holy Spirit and His Word and purifies our hearts so that we can see Him again and experience His great love.

Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, I Peter 3:21

The Christian needs their conscience to be cleansed through confessing their sins for when they sin while they are the world.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

IF we do not guard our hearts and keep a clear conscience then our view of God become distorted and we want to ultimately blame God for what is happening in our lives. We do not doubt His power but we doubt His love.

With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:26

The Bible says that the way of the guilty is crooked.

The way of a guilty man is crooked,
But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

When we do not have a clear conscience and there is guilt in our heart then we start to see God as twisted and our actions will also become twisted towards those whom we should love. The one whom we should be loving starts not to understand our actions and their responses become different and then begins the downward spiral in the relationship.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

A double minded person does not have a pure heart. A double minded person is one who says to himself, “Should I do this or should I do that?” They go back and forth on what they should do. The double minded person will not receive help from the Lord until they confess their sin to the Lord and surrender their heart to Him and He cleanses it.

But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. I Timothy 1:5

The Lord wants us to pursue love with all people. However, we need to have a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere heart. These are characteristics of the heart and must characterize our lives in all of our relationships. When we have these qualities then God’s love will fill our lives and hearts and will flow through us to others.

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

We will see the Lord and will want to be like Him. We will be secure in our relationship with Him and will not be fearful of what other think of us. We will be able to consider others more important than ourselves. We will not feel the need to control others because we will be filled with the Lord and His love for others. It will be Jesus Christ who controls us.

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14,15

The outcome will be far greater than what anyone can imagine. The Lord can do far more than what we can ask or think when we guard our hearts, live by faith, keep His Word and allow Him to live through us according to His power which works in us.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20,21