Understand the Timing of When the Woman Makes a Commitment to the Man
Timing is very important in love relationships. In all love relationships there needs to be an initiator and a responder. Just as in our relationship with the Lord. The Lord is the One who is the initiator and we are the responder. We respond to His love and His choosing to love us. In the same way, the man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. The man must take responsibility for the relationship and therefor the woman must wait for the man. If the man only initiates to a certain level then that is where the relationship remains. If the man only wants a friendship and you want more then do not try to make the relationship into something that it is not. A man does just what he wants to do. If he wants a commitment relationship then he will pursue one. If a man wants to marry a girl then he will pursue her. The man is the one who asks the girl out for a date and he is the one who pays for the date. Do not pay. If he can not afford an expensive restaurant then let him take you to one that is not so expensive. Money does not make love and if it is important to you to go to expensive places and he can not afford it nor want it then you need to move on and he also needs to pursue someone else. Do not pay for the dinner. A man will get the money for what he wants and needs. A man appreciates what he works for so do not “give” to him. The man is to be the lover and the one who takes responsibility for where he takes you, when he takes you and how much it cost. He does not need your help. This is important to understand because one of the lies in the world is that the woman should spend her money also on the man. Absolutely not. If he gives you a Christmas present then yes, you can give him one if you would like, but do not spend more money on him than he has on you. Do not tell a man that you love him until he has asked you to marry him. Love is a commitment and he should not be telling a woman that he loves her until he is ready to commit his life to her. Do not be physically intimate with a man until after marriage. Many a man will stay engaged forever to get what he wants but never take the step of marriage. A man makes the commitment to marry, he asks the woman to marry him and then he plans and pays for the honeymoon. He also is the provider for the family. There is no problem with the wife working if it is agreed but even then, it is best to live off of the husband’s income. This creates gratitude in the wife and a oneness in the marriage. When a man gets married then he must be ready to give up everything for his wife and then after marriage the wife is to give up everything for her husband, but not before marriage.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25
Understand What is Wise and What is Foolish
Understand that a wife is a gift to a man and most men want to get married. Most men are looking for the “right” one and want a wife. However, men understand that marriage is a responsibility and men will sometimes put off responsibilities as long as they can. If they can get what they want without the responsibility then they will often not take the responsibility at all (“If the milk is free, why buy the cow?”) or if a woman will assume the responsibility in a relationship then many men will let her and will never take any more of the responsibility. He may stay with her in this dysfunctional relationship forever, even with her waiting for him to initiate, or until he gets tired of her. Meanwhile, she keeps hoping, initiating and spending her money on him and missing other opportunities with better men, who think that she is already in a relationship. A woman is foolish to give herself physically to a man before marriage or to spend her money on dates with him or gifts for him.
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:28-32
Men love their own bodies and when a man loves a woman then he will commit himself to taking care of her as he takes care of himself. A man also will guard his investments. Let him invest in you rather than you investing in him. His heart will follow where he puts his treasure. A man appreciates what he works for and what he waits for. Don’t be in a hurry. Put your trust in the Lord and let the Lord choose your spouse. He will make a much better choice than you can make. As you wait for the man the Lord has for you then you will be waiting on Him and you will know when the Lord brings him along because your future husband will love you more than you will love him. Just as the Lord loves us more than we love Him and our love for Him is a response to His love for us. We love Him because He loves us.
For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him. Isaiah 64:4
Instructions To A Young Life 