Jesus makes it very clear who loves Him. Love is not a feeling but love is an action of obedience.
John 14:23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him.
If you are doing what you want or what your flesh desires and then talk about God’s grace then you are not loving God but you are mocking Him. He died for you, not so that you could do what you want but so that you would be free from the passions of your flesh so that you would do as you ought and thereby love God by keeping His commandments.
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
Do not let your heart deceive you. God is not mocked. Whatever a person sows that will he reap. If you sow to the flesh then you will reap destruction.
Galatians 6:8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
Eternal life is knowing Jesus, the only true God, and when you come into the knowledge of Him, an intimate knowledge, then you want to love Him. If you just know about Him then there is not the passion to love Him back.
I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.
If we know Him then we realize that everything else is rubbish in view of the surpassing greatness of knowing Him.
Philippians 3:8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,
Once you find Jesus then you will be willing to sell all that you have and count it loss that you might gain Him.
Matthew 13:44 The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Moses knew the Lord and the Lord showed Him His ways.
Psalm 103:7 He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
Do you keep His Word? Do you know His ways? When we learn to obey His Word and walk in His ways then His love is perfected in us and we become more like Him. We also will know that we are in Him.
I John 2:5 but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him:
We also will have the assurance that He is in us and that His Spirit abides in us.
I John 3:24 The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.
Romans 8:16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,
If He abides in us through His Spirit that He gives to us when we receive Him as our Lord and Savior then we are His child. If we are His child then we will want to keep His commandments. If we keep His commandments then we will abide in His love and will want to love Him more because of His great love for us.